


Safe Space

by Griddlebone



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 07:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2142735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Griddlebone/pseuds/Griddlebone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inara offers Simon what he needs most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe Space

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kalisgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalisgirl/gifts).



Inara's shuttle was a work of art. Or maybe it just seemed that way because it was so utterly unlike the decaying, utilitarian corridors of _Serenity_ just left behind. The lighting was pleasantly soft; incense gave the air a pleasant scent. No banged and battered metal or plastic walls here, but rather rich drapes of multi-colored fabrics that gave the space a calming warmth and hospitality. Carpets and thick cushions littered the floor of the sitting area in a welcoming disarray.

In the center of it all, Inara prepared tea with all the grace and ceremony expected of a licensed Companion, and more besides. She was a captivating woman in her own right, able to lend some of her own beauty to everything she touched. That much was obvious from the moment Simon set foot in her shuttle, gawking around him like he'd never seen anything like it before until Inara beckoned him to sit.

He sat down where she had indicated, near the low table where the tea would be served, and watched her preparing the tea and felt pointedly uncomfortable.

For a man as admittedly brilliant as Simon Tam was, he'd made an awful lot of foolish mistakes and assumptions lately, acting without stopping to think of the consequences. When Inara had coaxed him back to her shuttle with her tonight, quietly offering a remedy to soothe his agitation, he'd thought she meant an assignation. He'd gone with her anyway, even knowing that he shouldn't, but that hadn't stopped him from being surprised when all she did when they reached the sanctuary of her shuttle was begin to make tea.

If she noticed his astonishment, Inara gave no sign. To all appearances, she was completely absorbed in her task – at least until she glanced over and met Simon's gaze with a smoldering look of her own.

His breath caught in his throat and it felt like his heart was doing flip-flops in his chest. A ridiculous description, he thought, but accurate.

When the tea was steeping in the ornate cast-iron tea pot on the table, Inara came and sat down next to Simon. Her proximity did nothing to dispel his discomfort. There were many things he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't think of the right words. He had always found it difficult to speak with beautiful women, and Inara was no exception. Her very nearness, and his sudden and unexpected desire to experience all of her wiles, had flustered him beyond speech.

"Simon," she said suddenly, her tone sharper than he'd expected. "You don't have to feel guilty for being here."

His first instinct was to protest, though deep down he knew she was right. He _did_ feel guilty.

And if he were perfectly honest with himself and tried to look at the situation objectively, he probably did need a break from the constant fear and worrying. Continuous stress like that could be extremely dangerous for a person's wellbeing. The problem was that River was still in danger. She was always in danger, and Simon had no way of knowing if she would ever be safe again. The only thing he did know for certain was that it was up to him to keep her safe, and to heal her if he could. If that meant sacrificing everything for River, then that was what he would do.

It didn't matter what he had given up for her already, because he'd given it up for River. And he would do it again in a heartbeat, as many times as necessary, to keep his little sister safe.

"Simon," Inara murmured again, at once soothing and implacable. "Let the others look after River for a while."

Simon's mouth had gone dry. The idea of giving up what little control he had over his life – and River's – even for a little while terrified him to the core.

Silence fell over the tiny shuttle as Inara turned back to the tea. The tea service was every bit as lovely as the preparation, and carried out with the same degree of precise skill and what looked to be genuine enjoyment. Simon accepted a small cup of tea when she offered it to him. When he'd taken the teacup carefully in his two hands, she cupped her hands around his and held him caught there, warmth seeping into him from her as much as from the hot tea.

Unconsciously, he found himself mimicking the slow, calming pattern of her breathing as he stared at their joined hands and the steam that wafted up from the tea. When he realized what he was doing, he glanced up uncertainly at Inara. She met his gaze with gentle, guileless eyes. Those eyes did not judge, but merely offered sympathy and understanding.

Not for the first time, Simon wondered how this woman had fallen in with this lot, and why she spent her time on _Serenity_ when she could have had her pick of the richest men on the most sophisticated worlds.

Just when he thought the taut silence had gone on for too long, Inara released him and reached for her own cup of tea. She took a sip, and Simon felt obliged to do the same.

The tea was perfection, easily the best thing Simon had tasted since coming aboard _Serenity_. His eyes drifted closed while he savored the flavor and the warmth of it, and when he opened them again Inara was regarding him with what looked like quiet satisfaction. He half expected her to pounce on him with some sort of therapeutic conversation or a probing question about his past, but she did nothing of the sort.

What she did was ask him how River was doing. And when he gave her an honest answer, she didn't so much as flinch. Nor did her eyes glaze over as his terminology went over her head. Instead she smiled, and if there was any pity or sympathy lurking behind that smile, she hid it well. And when she sobered, offering any assistance that she could provide, and he got the feeling she actually meant it.

He nodded and, instead of elaborating on his answer, sipped the tea again because his head was spinning dangerously. This place, this woman, the tea ceremony… it felt almost like he'd momentarily stepped back into the life he'd left behind. The idea was jarring and seductive at the same time.

If he could have it all back…

But that was the last they talked about River that night. As if she were aware of Simon's inner turmoil, Inara seamlessly shifted the conversation to mindless, comfortable small talk about life on board _Serenity_. The fact that she gave no sign of attempting to lure him into her bed gradually began to reassure him that he could indeed confide in her. It became easier to speak to her when he realized that she understood his past and knew where he was coming from. While the others might mock him for his privileged upbringing, Inara did not.

By the time they were on their second pot of tea, Simon had developed a new understanding of the value of a Companion's arts, and why Companions were so highly valued. He wanted to tell her that this was exactly the break he'd needed lately, but even he knew it would be a blunder to just throw the truth out there like that. Inara had known exactly what needed to be done to keep Simon from having a breakdown, and she'd made it happen. He had a feeling she already knew she'd succeeded, too.

"You know," Inara was saying, her face wistful. "Sometimes when things get rough, I bring Kaylee here and I brush her hair… I can do the same thing for you, if you need it."

"Brush my hair?" he blurted out awkwardly. He couldn't help himself. If there was something incredibly stupid he could say to a woman, he was going to end up saying it whether he wanted to or not. And he definitely did not want to look a fool in front of Inara.

But she just smiled gently, as if he'd just said the most charming thing imaginable. "Give you a safe space," she corrected. "No expectations, no obligations, just a little peace and quiet when you need it."

It was a tempting offer. A _very_ tempting offer. But even the offer itself had brought reality crashing back into his consciousness, shattering the delicate illusion of escape. This place wasn't real, the sanctuary it offered would never change River's plight. He felt painfully guilty for even taking this brief break from his vigil.

Inara didn't press him. "I hope you consider it," was the only thing she had to say on the subject. "It would be nice to have a friend to share my tea with sometimes."

When Simon left her that night, he told himself it was the last time he would take Inara up on her offer. But it wasn't, not by a long shot.


End file.
